Velvet Cheesecake
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Jaune volunteers to help out the Beacon Times, the school newspaper, by doing an investigative article on a mysterious demon baker of delicious cheesecakes...


**Velvet Cheesecake**

**RWBY**

**Summary: **_Jaune volunteers to help out the Beacon Times, the school newspaper, by doing an investigative article on a mysterious demon baker of delicious cheesecakes..._

**Genre:** _Mystery/Humor_

**One-Shot Suggestions:**_I'm taking requests for one-shot suggestions, although I'll give preference to Jaune x ? ideas. Tell me what pairing, genre, and/or scene ideas in a review. If I find some inspiration from the idea, I'll run with it. If not… ;_;_

**This fic is for DeltaNovember who has shit taste.**

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Jaune fixed his fedora, a card that said '_Press_' tucked in the belt.

Today was Jaune Arc's first day as an Investigative Reporter for the Beacon Times. It was a position he fought hard to acquire, taking a full paragraph of writing why it was always his dream to be an investigative reporter and crying to the school's chief editor. It only took him spilling out Weiss' secret obsession with reflective surfaces and Blake's neon wardrobe to the Gossip Department that the chief editor gave him the job.

"A bargain, I'd say," Jaune smiled to himself as he left the room. The chief editor was crying from the huge scoop he had just struck.

His first day on the job saw him assigned to a simple but baffling case: the Cheesecake Baker.

It was said during the dark lonely nights in the Beacon Home Economics wing, a mysterious horned demon would appear. The being would slip in and out of shadows, sometimes walking, sometimes hopping, but always in total silence. It's trademark feature as reported from witnesses Jaune interviewed, was a pair of gigantic horns that would pierce the shadows. The unfortunate who got too close would have their souls suck out of them, leaving a hollowed husk.

The demon would enter a kitchen room and leave as quickly as it came. Only a cheesecake, supposedly baked with the souls of dead, left in its place. Aside from being delicious, the cheesecake also had another terrifying quality.

They were as a red as blood.

The kitchen station would be pristine, as if untouched with only a few sparse droplets of red hidden in corners. Only an otherworldly force of the supernatural could account for the demonic forces at work here. Rumors suggested those who failed Ms. Goodwitch's exams were offered to give up their blood for these creamy delights. Others say they were made by a horror summoned by Professor Port who demanded something to sustain his great girth.

Whatever the grotesque being was, it was Jaune Arc, the greatest Investigator Reporter at Beacon who was now on the case!

And so, Jaune decided to put his plan into motion.

Sneaking out of his room, Jaune was careful to avoid waking the light sleepers of his team, Ren and Pyrrha, and the snoring chainsaw, Nora. In his pajama onesie, Jaune armed himself with his '_Press_' fedora, a camera, with a notepad and pen tucked in his back pocket.

He entered the kitchen, just before midnight. Hiding in a broom closet, Jaune waited.

And waited.

Then started snoring.

He did not notice a shadowy figure slip into the room. He did not notice the kitchen appliances in use with immense precision. He did not see the skillful strokes and movements of hands or the perfection of the being's accurate measurements. And with a final climatic dash of red, the being shouted!

"Eureka! I've done it! I've finally done it!"

And Jaune woke up from his dreams of being on the frontpage having caught the Baking-Big-Foot-Demon-from-the-Great-Beyond.

"I've got you!" Jaune shouted as he tumbled out the closet. "Yes! You… hey! Do you mind turning on the lights? I can't really see you."

"Wh-who are you!?" The shadowy figure stepped back. A soft glow from the oven lights illuminated the room. The shadows of the ceiling and wall revealed a pair of great horns.

"I am Jaune Arc! Investigative Reporter here to get the scoop of the Big-Foot-Demon-from-the-Great-Beyond currently baking blood cheesecakes in the Home Economics room!"

The figure turned on the light. The intense change in brightness blinded Jaune. When his vision focused, Jaune looked closely.

It was a girl in an apron with bunny ears.

"I'm not that hairy to be a Big Foot…"

Jaune squinted his eyes from the light.

"You also don't seem to be a Demon-from-the-Great-Beyond…"

"No… I'm Velvet Scalatina!" The girl bowed with a curtsy using her school uniform skirt and apron. "Nice to meet you! I'm just your average baker."

Jaune rubbed his chin.

"That would explain the cheesecakes… but why bake them at night?"

"Faunus have excellent night vision!" Velvet tapped her eyes. "I could bake during the day but then I'd have to compete for ingredients and space and have people watching me bake… better to just work when everyone is sleeping."

For once in his life, Jaune understood an explanation.

"That makes perfect sense! It's like how you go to a movie in a theatre early and leave late while sitting in the center so you don't have to deal with people!"

Velvet laughed.

"Yes… I'm just practicing my baking skills but I'm trying to cut down on the sweets so I thought whoever would be using the room in the morning could enjoy a fresh cheesecake."

"But that doesn't explain the red droplets!"

"It's food coloring," Velvet revealed. "I've been trying to make a red velvet cheesecake…"

Jaune's mind clicked.

"I GET IT! BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS VELVET! AND IT'S LIKE… CATCHY! Oh man, that's clever! Holy macaroni on a shish-ka-bob that is really clever…"

Velvet cringed.

"Th-thanks?" Velvet said before laughing.

Jaune rubbed his belly. "Mind if I try your cheesecake for a late night snack?"

Velvet's smile brightened.

"Of course! Please!" Velvet went to the drawers and retrieved a knife, plate, and fork. She delicately cut the cake, ensuring a triangular slice, stuck a fork in it and served it to Jaune.

Lifting a piece, Jaune looked at the red cream on his fork.

He sniffed it, found it acceptable and ate it.

"This… is… this… wow… just wow…"

Velvet watched in anticipation.

"What is it!?"

"It's great! The fluidity of the cream and the tart crust combined with the elegant strawberry extract really comes alive! It's like a festival of sweet heaven in my mouth going full delicious!"

Jaune began accelerating his bites before coughing. Velvet quickly got him a glass of milk to wash down his throat before Jaune continued in his rampage of the cake. As Jaune finished his slice, Velvet decided to make a bold proposal.

"If-if you don't mind… would you be my taste-tester?" Velvet twisted the ends of her apron and looked at her feet. "It's embarrassing to ask my teammates since I don't want to accidently give them food poisoning…"

Jaune took off his '_Press_' fedora.

"I was always more of a food critic anyways." Jaune took his pen, crossed out '_Press_' and wrote in '_Food Critic_'. "I'm looking forward to having your food everyday!"

Velvet blushed and turned around to avoid Jaune's gaze. The blonde boy had just made an immense commitment. Try her food everyday? Velvet's mother had always told her to cook for a man is one of women's greatest acts of happiness. She snuck a glance back at Jaune, who was now fixing his fedora in his onesie.

Well if he was okay with her… Velvet would mind cooking for him everyday… among other things she'd do for him…

And so Velvet answered with a smile.

"Of-of course!"

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_I hope you're happy Delta, because here's your shitty Mystery with Velvet x Jaune._

_But really, I love you bro. ;_; please keep editing my shit._

_Velvet Cheesecake Fin_


End file.
